Hello, everyone! My name is Gael, and Iâm an indie game developer working on Silent Corruption, a survival horror game inspired by Silent Hill, The Long Dark, and Stranger Things. Today, I want to share a deeply personal story about how making video games saved my life.
Before diving in, Iâd like to tell you about a project Iâve created: a Discord server for solo developers. If youâre working on a game but donât have the budget for a team, this group is a safe space where you can share your progress and get feedback. Everything is kept under NDA, so you can feel confident sharing your work. If youâre interested, youâll find the link below.
Growing Up Invisible
Growing up, I felt invisibleâa quiet kid in the background. My environment wasnât supportive, I struggled in school, and I didnât have many friends. Being the youngest in my class (a December baby), I thought I was dumb. These feelings followed me for years, leaving me with low self-esteem and deep depression.
I wanted to make a difference, so I pursued a degree in primary education, imagining myself as the kind of teacher I wished I had: someone who supports kids to become the best version of themselves. But during my internship, I was crushed to find the reality was far from my dream. Instead of fostering growth, I found myself shouting at kids and enforcing rules that stifled their individuality. It was disheartening, and I knew I couldnât stay in that career.
Lost in My Twenties
By the time I graduated, I had no work experience and lived in Spain during a major job crisis. My anxiety and lack of confidence made it even harder to find work. My environment didnât help either, and I spent my twenties battling dark thoughts daily, feeling trapped and hopeless. I started learning graphic design and tried freelancing, but my confidence issues kept me from finding clients.
Discovering Game Development
In 2017, everything changedâI discovered game development. As a lifelong gamer, I instantly knew this was my calling. It felt natural and safe, like Iâd found my place. I started learning in my free time while job hunting and eventually landed a job as a cabin crew member for Ryanair. The job itself wasnât great, but it allowed me to move to the UK, where I finally left my unsupportive environment behind and got a fresh start. I also met my partner, whose support has been a cornerstone of my journey.
With stability and confidence building in my life, I pursued game development seriously. Two years ago, I got my first industry job as a Unity programmer at a small studio called Squid Shock. For the first time, I loved my work and wasnât plagued by daily anxiety.
Understanding My Struggles
Around this time, I learned why Iâd struggled so much throughout my life. I was diagnosed with dyslexia, dyscalculia, and autism. While this discovery explained my challenges, it also made me question my abilities. I worried these conditions would limit me, particularly as a programmer.
I decided to switch gears and focus on 3D character artâa field Iâd always enjoyed. I spent six months building a portfolio but faced rejection after rejection when applying for jobs. It was demoralising at the time, but in hindsight, it was a blessing. These setbacks pushed me to work on my game instead.
Finding Purpose Through Silent Corruption
Working on Silent Corruption has been life-changing. For the first time, I wake up every day feeling happy and excited. Even though Iâve had to take a part-time job to pay the bills, creating my game has improved my mental health and confidence in ways I never imagined.
Even if my game isnât a commercial success, Iâm proud of what Iâve achieved. Itâs helped me embrace my disabilities, focus on what makes me happy, and rebuild my self-esteem.
Why I Started YouTube
Starting a YouTube channel has been another step in my journey. Itâs helping me build confidence, feel seen, and connect with others in the game development community, which has been incredibly supportive.
Grateful for the Journey
Iâm grateful to have found game development and a community that feels like home. If youâd like to follow my journey, please like this article and subscribe to my YouTube channel. I hope my story inspires others to pursue what they love, no matter the challenges they face.
Thank you for reading, and Iâll see you in the next update! đ
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